Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Dear Scottward..

Dear Scottward,

I have a young lady coming by and I want to cook something to impress her. The problem is the only thing I can make is a peanut butter & jelly sandwich. I need your help; what I can prepare that is quick, simple, and not too expensive and will impress her enough to get in her pants.

Signed

P&J

Dear P&J,

It is very important for any young gentleman to have a small repertoire of dishes that they can prepare when entertaining young women guests. In this case, for a novice like yourself – I have the perfect solution.

“I Don’t Usually Do This” Raspberry Strawberry Brownies

Ingredients

1 box of brownie mix or new Pillsbury® Brownie Batter
1 jar of gourmet raspberry preserve
1 small tub of frozen strawberries
1 small container of raspberries
1 small Hersey’s Chocolate or caramel syrup
1 Coolwhip container

Lucky for you this new Pillsbury Brownie Batter is real simple, just pre-heat and put it in a pan. However, it can be a little messy getting it out of that tube. If you are a bit handier in the kitchen you can try the brownie mix. They are pretty simple- add an egg, some water, and a bit of oil- you are good to go. Follow directions on the package and you should be okay.

Next step, once the brownies come out of the oven, apply raspberry preserve on top- spreading evenly. Cut brownies into decent size squares.

Before putting brownies on plates take chocolate or caramel syrup and decorate plate in a zig zag motion with syrup. Wipe off anything that is not neat.(Note: Gentlemen, please invest in a set of black square salad/dessert plates.)

Put brownie in center of plate. Now put the frozen tub of strawberries in the microwave for about 1 ½ to 2 minutes- just enough so that they nice and warm. Now apply on top of brownies generously. Top with whip cream, and you're good to go. Please make sure everything looks neat on plate.

Now here is where you get them. (Note: Gentlemen, please invest in a champagne glasses). Go to your local liquor store and get a cheap bottle of champagne. I am a huge fan of Cristalino Rose. It is about 10 dollars a bottle, but looks like it cost $100. Now add the raspberries in the glass, and pour champagne.

This recipe has gotten me ass on a few occasions. It is fool proof, and easy to pull off. The total bill for this recipe is less than 30 dollars. The fresh raspberries are the most expensive part, so if you are short on funds leave them out.

Hook up your speaker to the r&b playlist on this page, and keep a condom in your back pocket.

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