G4 Crew: We Only Fly With a Few

Dear Scottward,

I am dating this girl and I really like her. However, she has a crazy ex-boyfriend. It's not that I am scared of him, but I have no time to deal with the drama that this situation may bring. Should I hold it against her that she used to date a psycho? Or should I just focus on our relationship and hope that he disappears?

Sincerely,

"Allergic to Crazy"

. Answer: This is a tough one. In a perfect world one's past relationships wouldn't be held against them - but in my world it unfortunately does. It can definitely be seen as a sign of poor decision making on her part. But give her the benefit of the doubt, because she must have some common sense to no longer be in the relationship.

I have had personal experiences like this, and while I may poke fun at this, it can be a very serious situation to be caught in. For example, I actually caught my first and only black eye over a chick. This dude straight sucker punched me when I wasn't looking!!

Anyway, here are some guidelines that may give you the answer to your question or at least clarify your situation:

Rule # 1: Don't think that you can go talk it out with him because these sorts of dudes are the worst. They don't think rationally or logically. He only cares about one thing, the possibility that someone else is sleeping with his girl. He knows personally how good the ass is, I mean he probably taught her all the nasty erotic shit she is doing to you now, and he knows it.

There is a new epidemic going around, that I like to call the "Dr. Phil Crisis". Dudes are more emotional than ever now. For certain guys, their girlfriend is the best thing they have going for them. Once they lose that, they snap, anding act crazy is a form of exerting and maintaining control over that person - because the other person in the relationship is forced to react.

Back in the day, a guy would only fight over their main girl - these days a dude will fight you over his jump-off. I read a news article about a guy that shot his girl's mom and grandmother before killing himself. Some dudes are crazy; they will kill you, her, and the dog.

Rule # 2: Properly gauge her involvement in the situation. Some women like the drama and would love nothing more for you to end up in a full out altercation so they can talk about it at the beauty salon on Saturday. I dated one girl whose ex lived on the same block. You think she would have told me.

Now if you really like her and the situation is serious recommend that she change her phone number (for the ex that calls 25 times a day). If she says something like, " I can't. I've had this number since freshman year", chances are she isn't serious about cutting ties with crazy-ex. If it's that serious, this is America - get a restraining order.

Ladies: Please, you cannot continue to let the crazy ex run off dudes in your life!! You are going to have to be proactive in stopping your madness.

So my advice to you, "Allergic to Crazy", let her go!! You have too much going on to have to look both ways in the street. Make those suggestions to her, but this is something that she is going to have to handle as a woman. It will make her a stronger and better person.

Find yourself a woman who makes better dating decisions. On a side note: If she feels scared or needs your help, then be a gentleman. Physical and emotional abuse is very confusing for many young women. Talk the situation over with her and come up with suggestions to diffusing the problem. For instance if she's scared offer to spend the night in her home. You may have to inform her sister, brother, mother, father or cousins (because they probably have no idea) to help you in dealing with him.

Be Safe,

Scottward